Limitations of patience

I’m a pretty patient person; I believe things/ situations/ people will work out because I *know* everything is basically okay. I believe the best of people, and that I’ll understand the world through time and experience.

This stance, however, is very self-focused and ultimately harmful.

I cannot know the world. It is too vast and complex for me to understand, and I can only ever know a small part of it. Also, people have vastly different experiences and motivations, and I surely should think twice before I ascribe my “normal” motivations on another (read: some people are just douches). By thinking that I know the answers, and that through time they’ll shine through, I put myself and my relationships in the path of potentially destructive situations and people (read: sometimes I can be a douche).

I think I’ve found my limit of patience – when waiting for things/ people/ situations to pan out stops me from fulfilling my everyday life. This plays out through starting to doubt my own motivations and self-worth/ feeling so frustrated I am sick to the stomach/ dishes stacking up because I am finishing a tricksy stage of a project… it is a long list, and I need to pay close attention to it.

What does this have to do with shoes? I need to walk away from the sewing machine if I’ve been trying for more than 10 minutes to sew a seam and it still doesn’t work. Drink some water, ask for help, boogie about. There is no sainthood with sewing machines. Saints Crispin and Crispinian were doomed for their beliefs, callings higher than the idea that this, too, shall pass.


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